Wrong Side of Heaven: A Hellblazer Fanfction
by BAdeMorte
Summary: Leta Baaning lived in a convent, since her parents died. With her uncles being the only link to her past, she hides in novels. Most recent of these are the Hellblazer series. The nuns and uncles feel that she is spending too much time in a fantasy world. They're just fiction. What's the harm? Fiction isn't always make-believe. That sometimes there are more truths in a comic book.
1. Chapter 1

Note: I own nothing but a trench coat, Leta Baaning, and a Wonder Woman lunchbox, the rest is someone else's

Chapter 1: Dreaming Reality

She was having the dream again. Same dream every time. The images were hazy. Just impressions really. All she knew of the dream was screams and flames. She didn't know what scared her more. The dream or the fact that she was so use to the dream that she was no longer phased by it.

Her therapists would have said that it was her mind trying to protect itself from the memories of her parents' deaths. Her uncles would have said that she was reading too many novels. The nuns would had said that it was another sign that she needed an exorcism. Gotta love options.

She would go with option number four, which was to keep it to herself. There were somethings that she didn't feel she should share. Not even with her uncles. So, she would keep silent and endure.

The dream was thankfully interrupted by a loud thumping sound. Opening her eyes, she tried to focus. There was one of the nuns looking down at her which made Leta wonder if she had been sucking on a lemon.

The nun frowned, "Leta Baaning! What are you still doing in bed? It's almost ten a.m. You were up late again reading that trash. God does not take kindly to such slothfulness. Get up now. Mother Superior wishes to speak to you. Do not keep her waiting."

Leta groaned and hid her head under the pillow. The nuns were always fond of tell her of what God wouldn't take kindly to. Made her wonder what God would approve. She never asked. Didn't want a dead nun from a heart attack on her conscience.

As she got up from her bed, a book fell to the hardwood floor with a solid thump. On the cover was a blonde man in a white shirt and a rumpled tie smoking a cigarette. The title was Original Sins from the Hellblazer series. Yeah...the nuns had a field day with that one.

Picking up the book, she started to get ready for her meeting with Mother Superior. Leta didn't know what the meeting was about. Maybe they were going to finally kick her out. Highly unlikely. Her uncles did a lot of stuff for the Church. Short of her burning the place down while dancing naked, she didn't see them kicking her out.

Before she left, she looked into the mirror and wondered what kind quirk in her genetics made her look like she did. Oh! She knew that she was lovely. It's just she looked so...odd.

The girl staring back at her had pale skin. The kind of pale that reminded people of Snow White or a very pretty corpse. She never tanned or burned. It was kind of freaky. Her hair was a dark red. So dark that in some lighting it could either look black or even purple. She had gotten some looks with that. Most people thought she dyed it, until they found out she lived in a convent. No hair dye to be found here. Her strangest feature though were her eyes. They were a pale violet color with gold flecks in it. They tend to unnerve people, when she made eye contact. Probably why she made it a habit to look down most of the time. It wasn't humility. She was just tired of freaking people out, when she looked them in the eye.

It didn't take long for her to get to Mother Superior's office. She had been there so many times for various reasons that she could walk it blindfolded. Going over the thinking that she had done the last time she came here, she was certain that she wasn't in anymore new trouble. There could a rehashing of old though. Nuns had good memories like that. It was kind of unnerving at what they could remember.

After knocking on the door, she peeked into the room. The office was dark wood with a lot of books. Old leather ledgers were strewn about in a careless manner.

The convent didn't have electricity. So, there were no computers to be found. The nuns probably would be upset if she used candles to read at night. Luckily, her uncles gave her a flashlight long ago, and supplied her with batteries. If it wasn't for their gift, she probably would have tried to break out more.

Mother Superior was sitting at her desk working on one of the many ledgers. Wire rimmed glasses perched on her nose. Leta was always amazed at how the woman's glasses never fell off. They probably were afraid to do so. Not that Leta had anything against the nun. Of all of them, she tolerated the strange young woman the most. Of course, that wasn't saying much in Leta's opinion.

Picking her way through the piles of books and papers that laid on the wooden floor, she settled into an old worn leather chair. From past experiences she knew to just wait, until the woman was ready to talk. Rushing a nun was a good way to incur their wrath. So she just plucked at the material of her black dress. She was no longer a student at the school, but she wasn't invited to take vows either. It put Leta in a strange kind of limbo.

After a few minutes the older woman looked up from her writing, "I heard you have a new reading interests. Sister Mary Rose gave me quite the ear full. Hellblazer? Really, Child. That is almost as bad as the time you brought Stephen King's Needful Things to Mass. You were just lucky that Father Donovan is a fan of that stuff."

She paused with a smile on her face before continuing, "I myself don't care what you read. If you like that stuff, it's fine. Just keep it in your room. That's all I ask. Now, this concludes me reprimanding you. I have other news for you."

Leta couldn't help but smiling. Mother Superior could be pretty cool sometimes. After the Needful Things scandal not only did she stand up for Leta, but even gave her some Ray Bradbury books to add to her collection. Still didn't make them best friends. Mother Superior had her place and Leta had hers. The nuns would never let them forget that.

The older woman's voice broke through her thoughts, "Your uncles are coming for a visit. I think Sister Mary Agnes finally wore them down. Your future is to be decided, and I say about time. Keeping you here isn't fair to you, Child. I know they are protective of you, but there is protective and smothering. I think they passed smothering three years ago, when you turned eighteen. You need to live your own life, and they need to respect that."

Leta couldn't help but smile at that. She knew that Uncle Mike would be laidback and cool about her future. Uncle Gabe though...that was a different story altogether. Leta didn't even want to think of his reaction to all of this.

A deep gravelly voice told her that she would be seeing it soon enough, "We respect our niece completely. It's everyone else we don't trust. Bunch of talking monkeys the lot of them."

Uncle Gabe had wide blue eyes that could terrify a person with a look. Paired with his slicked back dark hair and addiction to wearing black, he would make anyone take a step back. It was only with Uncle Mike and her that the warm smiles and laughs came out of hiding.

A more playful tone came from behind Uncle Gabe, "Stop being such a snob. Most people are fine. Just got to have a little faith."

Uncle Mike was different than Uncle Gabe. He wore his hair long and loose. Usually wore a tan trench coat. Even in the summer. He would say that it was to keep all his cool vibes. She didn't know about that. She just knew that she adored both of her uncles.

While the uncles were giving each other looks, Mother Superior stood up, "Leta is a grown woman. You need to have faith in her. She needs to make her own decisions. You can't keep her hidden here forever."

Uncle Gabe gave Mother Superior a withering look. The kind of look that would make babies cry and dogs run away yelping. The older woman was unphased by it. This just raised Leta's opinion of the nun higher. Even Uncle Mike was known to fold under that look.

Finally realizing that he wasn't getting anywhere, he said, "We'll talk about it later. Right now we need to get settled. It was a rough case."

He gave Leta a small wave and a smile before leaving. Uncle Mike just rolled his eyes as his brother left the room.

Lighting a cigarette, he said, "Don't worry, Kiddo. We'll figure this out. You know how he gets when he has to be nice. Makes him crankier. If you want, I'll meet up with you at the maze. Just give me a minute to get settled and calm down Sir Grumps-A-Lot."

Before she could say anything, he left. Her uncles were whirlwinds in their own right. Sometimes it was exhausting to keep up with the. Turning around, she saw Mother Superior smiling.

The older woman said, "Go and get a breath of fresh air. The Good Lord knows that you're going to need to keep your wits around you for this. Just remember, Child. It's your life. Only you can live it. No one else. So, find out what kind of a life you want and get it."

As Leta left, she thought on what Mother Superior said. She was right. No one could live her life, but her. There was only one problem. She didn't know what kind of life she wanted. All she knew really was in the books she read. She was pretty sure that angels and demons weren't fighting on the streets, while a blonde man, who was a chain smoker, was sending evil spirits back to the abyss. Life wasn't like that. It was much more boring.


	2. Chapter 2: Where Angels Fear To Tread

There were some perks to living in a convent without any modern convince except indoor plumbing and heating. They had spectacular gardens. Leta loved exploring all the spots and learning the different plant species. It seemed that she was always finding something new.

Today was not a day for exploring though. Instead of enjoying the tiger lilies, she was in a glaring contest with her Uncle Gabe. She loved him dearly but the man could give a mule lessons on stubbornness. Uncle Mike wasn't helping things by just shrugging and making non-committal sounds. It didn't seem like such a big request. She wanted to leave, maybe even go to college. She wasn't sure. She just didn't want to stay here to rot in a strange kind of limbo.

Uncle Gabe growled, "No! No! Too dangerous. This world is too dangerous to have you wandering around unsupervised. These talking monkeys are violent and unpredictable."

Again with the talking monkeys. She never understood why he always called people that, like he wasn't human or something. It was weird. It also was typical of her uncle.

Before she could say anything, Uncle Mike finally piped up, "You have to understand, Pumpkin. We love you. If anything ever happened to you, we'd be lost."

She knew what they were saying. She got it. It didn't help that she still felt like a prisoner than a beloved niece.

Taking a deep breath, "Bad stuff happened to people every day. Keeping me surrounded by nuns isn't going to guarantee that I'm going to be safe. I have one life. Please, let me actually live it. I'm not talking about getting a tattoo and run off with a punk band. I just want to get out and do something."

Her uncles responded to that in a very strange way. They looked kind of scared. In all her life, she never had seen her uncles scared of anything. Did they really not like punk bands? She wasn't going to ask.

Just at that moment, Mother Superior came from behind one of the hedges with a stern yet amused look, "I knew you two wouldn't listen to her. Most stubborn angels God ever created. Except for the other one."

As both of her uncles straightened up, Leta gave the nun a thankful smile. Mother Superior always called her uncles angels. She felt it was more tongue cheek than anything. There was no way anyone could confuse them for angels.

Mother Superior continued, "She is right. She needs to live her life., not be hidden in a convent. Knowing you two, though I knew that you wouldn't let her go out into the world on her own. Still! I think we can have a meeting of minds. She will still live here, but get a job in town. There can be no objections to that."

Uncle Mike just shuffled awkwardly, while looking down. Uncle Gabe looked like he wanted to throttle Mother Superior, but even he wouldn't do that to a nun. Leta just held her breath. It wasn't total freedom, but it was a start. That's all she really wanted.

Her uncles gave each other a look before Uncle Gabe stormed off. Guess she was going to have to wait for him to calm down to find out if she could at least get a job. She could wait. After all, she had been waiting all her life. A few days would be fine.

Her Uncle Mike's long coal black hair tickled her cheek, as he hugged her, "It will be fine, Pumpkin. As long Mother Superior approves of the job, we'll be behind it. You know Gabe, he hates not being in control of everything. Also hates the fact that he might have to admit that you've grown up. That and he's a total snob. Doesn't think anyone is worth your time. Just promise me that you'll be smart about this. Don't want you to spend all your money on junk food."

It took her a minute to realize that he was giving her the okay to get a job. It took another minute of her hugging him back and laughing with excitement. She was going to be able to do something on her own. This was amazing news to her.

Still laughing, she said, "What do you mean by that? This coming from the man that bought the ice cream shop out. Took them a week to get more supplies to reopen. I'll be wise with my money. Probably spend it on books."

He groaned at that comment, "Could you slow down on the comics? Gabe still hasn't gotten over the fact that you're reading something called Hellblazer. Try staying in this reality for a bit. It's actually nice here."

Leta just laughed some more at his comment. Uncle Mike was the last person that should say that. He was the one that was always telling her stories about angels and demons. Why tells her those stories, if he wanted her to be content with the ordinary? It didn't make much sense to her.

Still hugging her uncle, she looked for Mother Superior. She wanted to know when they could start looking for her new job. She wanted to start before Uncle Gabe could think of some cockamamie excuse to stop her.

The nun laughed, "Slow down, Child. We'll start early tomorrow. Make sure you're properly dressed. We don't need you looking a mess. I think I know just the place to get a job, but we will talk on that later. Right now, you need to smooth your uncle's feathers. He certainly is a bristly one, but he does love you so. Never forget that."

At those words, Mother Superior motioned for Uncle Mike to follow. Leta reluctantly let him go. She didn't want to deal with an upset uncle, but he did deserve some consideration. Hopefully, he would see her side of things. She wasn't holding her breath though. The man was pure stubbornness.


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3: Start of a Journey**

It took her a bit of time but she found Uncle Gabe in the hedge maze. The man was always one for puzzles and was better than a GPS. She, on the other hand, was known for getting lost in a walk-in closet.

He frowned when he saw her but didn't say anything. Great. He was pouting. Nothing worse than a grown man pouting. He probably thought that it would make her cave. It had before. Not this time though. She couldn't let him have his way or she would be stuck here forever.

Nudging him while saying, "You know that this is in no way a reflection on you. Right? You had to know that this was going to happen sooner or later?"

He huffed, "Why? This place is nice. You don't have to worry about anything. Is it really so bad here?"

She shook her head while saying, "I don't fit in here. I would have thought you would have gotten that memo when Sister Mary Louise tried to perform an exorcism on me when I was ten. It's time that I try to find where I do belong. You can't begrudge me that."

Uncle Gabe rolled his eyes, "Sister Mary Louise was a troglodyte and a hairy wart on this existence. You're fine just as you are and you belong wherever you want. I worry about you. These talking monkeys stumble around with no care about anyone but their own needs and wants. You're special."

Leaning against him, she couldn't help but laugh. Didn't ever uncle think their niece or nephew was special in some way? Wasn't it some requirement? She didn't take what he said too seriously. It was like Uncle Mike said. He didn't want to admit that she wasn't a little girl anymore. She figured that he was probably afraid that he was going to lose her.

Resting her head on his shoulder, "It's just a job and you know Mother Superior isn't going to let me sign up for anything wild. She still hasn't forgiven Father Morgan for just suggesting Monte Carlo night. So, have a little faith. Isn't that what you're always telling me? How about practice what you preach, Buster."

His mouth was a grim line as he watched her. It was almost as if he was seeing someone else. Was he seeing her father? Her mother? A mixture of both? She didn't have the courage to ask. No matter how much she was wanted to do so. The questions were never voiced. Deep down she knew that it would cause him pain. It was enough that she was branching out a little bit and getting a job. She didn't need to make it worse by bringing up her parents. Maybe one day.

After a few minutes of silence, he said, "You're not going to let this go. Are you?"

Shaking her head, "Nope. You know me. Stubborn to a fault. I need this, Uncle Gabe. Think of it this way. I can buy my own books instead of bugging you. That's got to be an upside."

His blue eyes looked sad even though he smiled, "You've never bugged me. Still, you're going to go your own way. Just be careful. Don't need to lose you, Kiddo."

It took her a second for it to register that he was going to accept this. When it finally did sink in, she laughed and hugged him tightly. She felt so much better knowing that both of her uncles were going to support this.

Laughing before he started talking, "No boys. No wild clothes. No odd hair color. Don't abuse this bit of freedom."

She rolled her eyes but still smiled, "I don't think I can get any weirder than my own hair color and didn't you know that militant penguin chic is all the rage now. Nina García wants an interview soon."

She didn't even mention boys because they weren't worth mentioning. If a guy couldn't stand up to her uncles and not run screaming, she was better off without a date. She was just happy that this was going so well.

Uncle Gabe was silent except for one brow raised. She knew that her sense of humor was different from his and there were times that he didn't know if she was serious or not. Of course, neither one of them got Uncle Mike's humor.

Tugging at his arm, "Come on. Let's go see Mother Superior. I'm sure she has a job in mind already. She /always/ has a plan. So, let's go pepper her with some questions. It will be fun."

He shook his head but didn't didn't put up a resistance. From past experience, they both knew that all it would get him is a sore shoulder. It was easier to let her take the lead.

JCJCJCJCJCJCJCJCJC

A few weeks later Leta was beyond happy. Mother Superior had delivered just as Leta knew she would. The Nook and Cranny Curio Shop wasn't exactly glamours and she would never get rich, but it was a wonderful job for her. The owner was an old woman who insisted on being called Momma Mamau. She was the first to say that she was ugly as sin. Short and squat with a bulbous nose and dull ginger hair. She wouldn't win any beauty contests, but she had an amazing voice.

Quickly Leta came to adore her. She was attentive, patient, and had this habit of belting out a show tune and the most random moments. It made for an interesting shift. That and discovering all the strange odd bits that were sold there. Leta really didn't know how the woman made money because she didn't remember a single person walking through the door. Momma Mamau would just shrug and tell her that it was mostly random road trippers and eBay that kept the store open. Leta decided that it was better not to ask questions. Sometimes the answers weren't worth the hassle.

Her uncles left not long after she got the job. Both feel secure in the fact that the only she really had to worry about was the off chance that a pile of junk might fall on her or get attacked by rogue dust bunnies. Not exactly life threatening things. Well, except the ceramic cat by the register. Leta was pretty sure that it was out for her. It was a creepy thing that just seemed to always be staring at her. Momma Manau would just laugh and tell her that her imagination was working overtime.

One day Momma Manau asked her to clean out the back stockroom. She wanted to move some merchandise and needed to know what was back there. When Leta flipped the light switch, she started to rethink this job. To put it simply, the place was a disaster. It looked like something off the show Hoarders. She was certain that she would find a dead body or two hidden in the mess. The remains of other shop girls that tried to clean up this room.

Sighing, she rolled up her sleeves and started to pick at the piles. Momma Manau had told her what she was looking for. She had also told Leta that if it looked broken to pitch it. Of course, then the woman went on to make a list of exclusions. Finally, Leta suggested that if she had any doubts that she would show it to her. Momma Manau thought that was a wonderful idea. It was more work for Leta, but at least there wouldn't be any doubt that what got tossed was really junk.

The first few days were back breaking and grungy. The sisters would raise their brows when she came back to the convent after work. She looked a mess. Covered head to toe in dirt and dust. There had also been a few spider scares. No one enjoyed those. On the plus side, she felt productive. She was doing something. The stockroom was also starting to shape up. She swore that she could actually start seeing more than a small patch of floor and a sliver of a wall.

A week later the stockroom was finally organized and clean. She still didn't know how the woman packed so much stuff into such a small space. Must be the same principle as the bottomless purse theory. She was just thrilled that she was almost done. After this, Momma Manau promised that she would let her sit at the counter and just read for the next few shifts to give her a break. She couldn't wait. It sounded like her idea of heaven.

The last thing she had to clean and move was an old mirror. It was….rather hideous. The glass was speckled and warped. So, the images looked like something from a funhouse. The frame was a dark wood that had faces carved into it. They were very detailed and unnerving. They were faces that looked like they were screaming in agony. It wasn't exactly something a person would want in the dining room unless they were a Vincent Price fan.

Deciding that it would be best to just get it over with, she started to wipe down the glass with a soft cloth. Dreaming of the next book that she would buy for her time at the counter. While she was doing this, she didn't notice that the glass started to shimmer and swirl. It was so warped, that it would have been impossible to see.

She didn't realize that something was up until the faces started to scream and it felt like something had a hold of her wrist. She frantically started tugging and screaming for help. No help came and she couldn't get free. It seemed to act like quicksand. The more she struggled, the further she was pulled into the mirror. Soon, she was far enough in that she tipped over completely into the mirror and disappeared. Only the echo of her screams and the soft cloth were the only things left to hint that something was off.

In the front of the store, Momma Manau took a sip of tea from a chipped tea cup and cackled, "Should get real interesting now. They should have let her go home years ago. Those overgrown birds have to learn that you can't stop the inevitable. Going to have to learn the hard way now. Isn't that right?"

A white cat looked eerily like the ceramic cat that Leta always thought was watching her meowed and curled up next to the old woman. All they could do now was wait and see how things unfolded.


End file.
